I Am
by WolfUnderTheMoon
Summary: Back in MWPP time, this story begins with a girl and a gift....This story is linked to another of my stories, 'Lost', but is from one girl's point of view. The girl who sat behind Sirius Black in his OWL exams...
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I'd say it's fairly obvious i dont own HP. if I did, I would...oh, lessee. I'd be at home on the internet. a lot. and i would have a decent computer. Oh yeah, and for friendship's sake, I'd give some money to the ERTA fund. (dont ask - FO, you know wot i mean.)

I Am

Chapter 1

_The Future twists through many dark passages..._

I am the girl who sat behind Sirius Black in our OWL exams. My name is Maria.

The day of the Defence Against the Dark Arts exam was hot. The sun was shining, and I thought at first it was a trick of the light.  
But no. No. The vision was too solid, too real, to be a trick. The Aspecta was at work.

The Aspecta is a gift, they say, that allows you to see the future, but never when you choose to, and never what you want to. Important events, events that could turn either way, that is what I see.

A boy, this time. A boy, no older than me, appeared next to Severus Snape, a Slytherin. I had been looking all around me, bored, for I had finished the test and still had just over five minutes to go. The boy gazed around, then saw something that made him move, sliding quickly across the polished floor to James Potter, one of the fifth year boy's gang. The vision stood, staring, then looked up and at the other members of James's gang: Sirius Black, Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew. As he looked at Sirius, his gaze slipped back to my face, and he smiled. I do not know why. Then I looked properly at his face. What I saw made me almost gasp in shock.  
James Potter.  
But….it couldn't be. Why does the Aspecta do things like this to me? I'd never be able to forget this. Messy black hair, glasses, same height, he just looked so much like James he had to be related. But in the future. But what's more, the eyes. Green eyes. Green, almond-shaped eyes. Eyes I most definitely recognised. There was no-one else's they could be. My friend Lily Evans's eyes. But in the future. So there's only one thing he could be.  
Her son. Their son.  
But that was impossible, Lily hated James. At least, she always said she did.

I was brought out of my reverie by the squeaky voice of Professor Flitwick, the Charms teacher. He let us all go, and I joined up with my group: Lily Evans, Hazel Potter, James's sister, ten months younger than him, Rosa Green, and Imperia Malfoy, younger sister of Lucius Malfoy. She surprised everyone by being placed in Gryffindor: the first in her family. Not like Lucius – he had become a stinking Slytherin like his parents and the rest of his family. He disowned Imperia, saying he would not be connected to filth. We'll get him back for that someday.

As we walked along, giggling about some of the answers Rosa had written for her test, I overheard a conversation going on between the fifth year boys behind us.  
"Did you like question ten, Moony?"  
"Loved it. 'Give five signs that identify the werewolf.' Excellent question."  
"D'you think you managed to get all the signs?"  
"Think I did. One: he's sitting on my chair. Two: he's wearing my clothes. Three: his name's Remus Lupin."

What! Remus, quiet, shy, sensible Remus, my fellow Gryffindor prefect, was a werewolf? I couldn't believe it. I didn't want to believe it. Although I must say, I wasn't totally surprised…. I had suspected something like that, a thought that I had pushed to the back of my mind, because after all, he disappeared at the full moon each month….but he'd always said someone in his family was ill, or he was going to a funeral….

I must admit, after the initial shock, I just mainly felt sorry for him. Fancy having to live like that, turning into a man-eating monster every month; I don't think I could have borne it. I decided to be more sympathetic to him in future.

By then we were outside, and we headed over to our usual position in the summer weather; by the lake's edge. We took our shoes and socks off, then dipped our feet in the pleasantly warm water, heated by the sun. I had half an eye on the group over by the old beech tree; the Aspecta boy was still with them, watching them all the time. Lily was regaling us with the tale of James's most recent attempt to persuade her to go out with him….  
"And then, if you'll believe it, he got down on one knee and handed me these chocolates and red roses, and I almost fainted, for a moment I thought he was about to propose to me! But I was ok, it was just the usual request….the day James Potter proposes to me and expects me to say yes is the day I die of disgust…."

Just then there was a commotion over by the tree. It was the same as normal – James and Sirius had caught sight of Severus Snape, and had attacked him, as usual. It was a recognised routine by now. But this time Lily was particularly furious. They had gone too far, attacking without visible reason, and incurring the wrath of Lily Evans was not a good idea. We turned to stop her, but it was too late; she had already jumped up and stormed off towards the boys, still with bare feet.

"Leave him ALONE!" Rosa, Imperia, Hazel and I ran after her, and stopped just short, staring at the scene before us. Snape foaming at the mouth – large, pink bubbles – and Lily standing there, shouting her head off at the James and Sirius. Sirius looked round her and caught my eye, I smiled shyly and flicked my dark brown hair over one shoulder, and he grinned and winked in return. I could feel the heat rising in my cheeks as I glanced at the floor. I had always like Sirius, ever since when, in first year, he rescued me from the trick step in one of the staircases then walked me to my next class. I occasionally went….wandering….at night as well, and the four boys; Sirius, James, Remus and Peter; had often found me and let me hide under James's invisibility cloak. I knew that Hazel had done the same - after all, her older brother doted on her.

I was brought back from my memories when Lily yelled, "You make me SICK!" I knew she was still talking to James. She turned on her heel and hurried back to the lakeside, the four of us following behind, knowing she would be angry with us as well, because we hadn't helped. I turned back again as I heard James shouting, "Evans! Hey, EVANS!" Calling her just by her surname had never helped – he could at least have called her Lily. "Right. Right –" James was looking furious. "Who wants to see me take off Snivelly's pants?" Believe me, what happened next was not a pretty sight – I don't think I really need to go into detail.

Suddenly I saw another vision, a worse-looking one this time – next to the misty boy, who was still standing there, watching James and Sirius – a tall figure in black robes, with straggly, greasy hair and a hooked nose. It had to be - an older Snape. What was he doing here? He didn't look much older than thirty from what I could see, so they couldn't have come from too far in the future; we were all fifteen, and the boy appeared to be roughly the same age...I tried to give up my track of thought there - messing with the future had never helped anyone; what if I changed something irreparably here, and something went horribly wrong later on? I would never know how it could have been...and I don't think I could live with that.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Beginnings…

It was the end of fifth year summer. Our little group was in Diagon Alley today, indulging in a bit of retail therapy, when we saw James Potter and Sirius coming the other way. I looked longingly over at Sirius, but they hadn't seen us, as Lily made a sound of disgust and dragged us into the nearest shop, Madam Malkin's. Rosa suddenly started and looked at her shopping list, realising the one thing she had forgotten. A new dress for the Christmas Ball in sixth year that all the teachers denied was happening but everybody knew was. We browsed for a while until Rosa had found some lovely light blue silk dress, but as she paid up and we turned to leave, there was a shadow at the door.

Lucius Malfoy.

As he stepped inside, he saw us, and his lip curled as he caught sight of Imperia. "So, shaming the family name again are we?" Imperia dropped her head and blushed behind her long platinum blonde hair – she hated her brother, but we all knew she was too meek to do anything about it.

"Trailing round with Mudbloods" His eyes swept across Lily's face "and Mudblood lovers" He glanced at Hazel, whose changing hazel eyes flashed a bright green as she stepped forwards, her wand raised and a curse on the tip of her tongue. Hazel was the precise opposite of Imperia – she would never be afraid to do something.

Madam Malkin herself bustled forwards, putting us all behind her, and with a whispered "Don't worry dear, I'll sort it all out" to Hazel, who was still looking livid, she whipped her wand out from her sleeve with a flourish and held it in front of her. Lucius's eyebrows raised – I do not think he could believe that someone would dare do this to him.

"Now, Mr. Malfoy, I don't want anyone using language like that in my shop. There's no call for it. If you're going to continue, you'll have to leave." Lucius made a slight incredulous snorting sound, and stepped forward towards his sister, but got no further, as Madam Malkin performed an incredibly strong '_expelliarmus_' charm, which threw Lucius out through the open door and into the street, where he landed at the feet of James Potter as he walked past, talking to Sirius.

"What the hell!"

James looked to where we were standing, and ran over, real worry visible in his expression, Sirius following him, after miming a kick towards the prone Lucius."Are you lot OK? What happened? Is everything alright?"

Hazel answered for us. "Yeah, we're fine, that git just started….oh, the usual comments on blood, and as long as he doesn't stick around too long, everything's alright."

James turned to the shopkeeper. "Um, thanks Madam Malkin. I don't know what would have happened if you hadn't helped."

She chuckled. "Your sister here probably would have cursed him, and we couldn't be having that!"

James turned back to the street, but Lucius had Disapparated.

"Ok girls, I think you're coming with us. You'll be safer that way." Sirius was looking at me all the time he was speaking, the corner of his mouth curling into that gorgeous smile of his, and I could feel myself beginning to blush. Why did I always have to do that? It was so embarrassing!

Lily stepped forwards. "I think we'll be perfectly fine by ourselves, thank you very much." She saw the look on James's face though, and even she couldn't help but smile at that. She was thawing. "But thanks anyway."

"Are you sure, Lils? You could come with us, I promise we won't be any trouble…." He grinned with his cute smile, but I could tell that, in Lily's eyes, he had gone too far. As soon as she saw that 'winning' smile, she always went off the deep end. Hazel trying to conceal her giggles behind her didn't help, either.

"No, you won't be any trouble, Potter, because you aren't coming with us! Come on, girls." She stormed off in a towering temper, the rest of us dragging our feet behind her, Hazel rolling her eyes at her brother's latest attempt. Suddenly, out of the corner of my eye, I caught sight of a silvery figure, walking down the cobbled street, totally oblivious to all others. I groaned inwardly. Not the Aspecta again.

The figure was a tall woman, whom I could not see clearly from this distance. She stopped and glanced in a shop window – a shop, in my time, which was boarded up having been subject to a Death Eater attack, whilst mercifully empty (the owners had abandoned it – they did not want to be there if it happened again) – then bent closer to it, as if she could not believe her eyes. She shook her head, hesitated for a moment, and walked inside, passing straight through the boards nailed over the door, unaware of the peeling paint that did not note her passage. Our group was heading into Flourish and Blotts, Lily still fuming about James – I could not follow the woman, and also knew I should not, although I would have like to – even from that distance, the woman looked faintly familiar.

I glanced at the letter I had received from the school. I now knew which subjects I would be taking: a letter had arrived from Hogwarts for all of us, only a few days before. Mine read:

Ordinary Wizarding Level Results 

Pass Grades: Outstanding (O)Fail Grades: Poor (P)

Exceeds Expectations (E) Dreadful (D)

Acceptable (A) Terrible (T)

_Maria Elizabeth Hall has achieved:_

_Astronomy:E_

_Care of Magical Creatures:E_

_Charms:O_

_Defence Against the Dark Arts:E_

_Ancient Runes:A_

_Herbology:A_

_History of Magic:P_

_Potions:O_

_Transfiguration:E_

As I am writing this after this at happened, I know that it would be a few years yet before the examining board finally gave in to the students, and changed the fabled 'T' grade from 'Terrible' to 'Troll'.

The subjects I had decided to continue were Charms, Defence Against the Dark Arts, Herbology, Potions, and Transfiguration. As I had told Professor Seveny, the Head of Gryffindor House, and my Ancient Runes teacher, in the interview regarding careers after school, I wished to become a Healer – it seemed a worthwhile job, and I would be helping against Voldemort's cause in my own way, by helping save the people he had put in St. Mungo's. And, on top of that, there were always job opportunities at St. Mungo's. The hospital was so large that well over three hundred Healers worked within its walls. I knew, however, that, with only and 'A' in Herbology, I would have to work much harder in that subject in the coming years, if I was to attain a NEWT in it.

Separating out, we milled around the stands of back-to-school books, next to teetering shelves piled high with books from thick, heavy tomes with stained-looking covers that could have been in the store since it originally opened, to light, two-hundred-page book, with bright coloured covers and interesting-sounding names. Lily, to my left, went with curiosity to pick up one of the thicker books, its pages spotted brown with age, but when she cautiously opened it onto its first page, a faint noise on the edge of hearing began, and thick, dark grey, choking smoke began to hiss rapidly from between the other pages. Lily hastily shut the cover off the book again, her eyes starting to water from the sheer volume of smoke that had been released in just a few seconds, and shoved it back onto the shelf, as a concerned and more than slightly angry-looking shop assistant hurried over. "Didn't you see the sign? It says _Do Not Touch Without The Help Of An Assistant_! This is for a reason!"

"I'm sorry, I didn't realise it was one of those books, someone had put it on the top of those…" She pointed at the books on the shelf she had put the smoke-pouring book back onto.

"Well alright then. Just don't do it again." Giving Lily a suspicious look, the man walked back to his original spot, hovering by the entrance to waylay people with the latest release from Gertrude Page, the leader singer of _Sing Me To Sleep_, a very popular band at that time, and also and author. Her books always sold like hot-cakes, and at the moment, they appeared to be physically flying off the shelves.

All of us having finished our book shopping, we proceeded to one of the two apothecaries on Diagon Alley – we chose the nearest one, as it had a reduced price on cochineal beetle eyes. As far as I could tell

The shop was badly-lit, and Rosa caught her elbow on an unglazed pottery bowl, almost knocking it to the ground. Luckily, she caught it and managed to steady it. "Oh, ewww!"

"What is it?"

Rosa read the closely-worded label. "Ewww, crow entrails! Oh, disgusting!"

The shop owner looked over from the counter. "Ah yes, finest entrails money can buy, those are. Very useful for Divination, you know. Not quite as popular as they used to be, but they still sell well."

Divination. I had never felt remotely tempted to take the subject. Somehow, Professor Lowe, the Divination teacher, had found out about my 'gift', and had tracked me down in my second year, in the common room, and had begun to talk animatedly of all the possibilities I had, of being able to predict future events and possibly make slight alterations…I stopped her there. I explained that when I had been told, after my first sighting at the age of five, that I must not act on my visions, try to change things; and I was definitely not to tell anyone else what I had seen. My friends all knew about the Aspecta; they knew what happened, that I saw figures; but they had never asked what exactly I had seen, deciding, and I am thankful for it, that perhaps it would be best not to mention the subject too often.


End file.
